The Miraculous Resurrection of a Lying Bitch
A while back I wrote about Chrissie here. Her melodramatic real life death rivaled a chat one but with more plump pomp and circumstance.
I never believed she died. Not. For. One. Second. But others did. Her online friends in her Barbie fuck-world were taken in hook, line, and sinker. They erected (pun intended) a memorial site for Chrissie calling for a cure for breast cancer in her name. They asked for - and got - donations to help fight this nasty disease. It was all done with pure intent. I can't fault them for that.
What I can fault them for is being gullible and damn stupid. Yep. S-T-U-P-I-D. Especially after I told them that not all slags die and go to heaven. Some sit on their fat asses laughing at their 'death well done' second rate one act play. I would say "well played c*nt, well played" but in truth it wasn't. It wasn't even cable-version good.
So despite my busy world (yes I have one of those lives that chat people only hear and dream about), I recently decided to look Chrissie up. HALLELUIAH! It is a miracle. She is alive and kicking her fat rolls in New Zealand. A whole year after her death, she was at a conference with the very same company she has always worked for. Well golly gee Mayebell, she done come back to life and we can all thank Bubba.
I contacted G (the ex-friend of Chrissie who originally contacted me because he could smell the shit stink that permeated her whenever she opened her pie hole). I was ever so happy to inform him that Chrissie had crawled her way out of the 6 foot deep death hole to live again. He was somewhat shocked but extremely grateful that I messaged him. I also gave him the proof he needed to convince those that believed in Chrissie's pseudo demise of her remarkable rebirth; consequently, she never had or died of breast cancer. The irony of the idiots.
He later emailed me and disclosed how hurt Chrissie's friends had been to learn of her deceit. I should think they'd be even more hurt at how fucking naive and trusting they all were with someone they'd never met. Now that would totally be embarrassing.
I never believed she died. Not. For. One. Second. But others did. Her online friends in her Barbie fuck-world were taken in hook, line, and sinker. They erected (pun intended) a memorial site for Chrissie calling for a cure for breast cancer in her name. They asked for - and got - donations to help fight this nasty disease. It was all done with pure intent. I can't fault them for that.
What I can fault them for is being gullible and damn stupid. Yep. S-T-U-P-I-D. Especially after I told them that not all slags die and go to heaven. Some sit on their fat asses laughing at their 'death well done' second rate one act play. I would say "well played c*nt, well played" but in truth it wasn't. It wasn't even cable-version good.
So despite my busy world (yes I have one of those lives that chat people only hear and dream about), I recently decided to look Chrissie up. HALLELUIAH! It is a miracle. She is alive and kicking her fat rolls in New Zealand. A whole year after her death, she was at a conference with the very same company she has always worked for. Well golly gee Mayebell, she done come back to life and we can all thank Bubba.
I contacted G (the ex-friend of Chrissie who originally contacted me because he could smell the shit stink that permeated her whenever she opened her pie hole). I was ever so happy to inform him that Chrissie had crawled her way out of the 6 foot deep death hole to live again. He was somewhat shocked but extremely grateful that I messaged him. I also gave him the proof he needed to convince those that believed in Chrissie's pseudo demise of her remarkable rebirth; consequently, she never had or died of breast cancer. The irony of the idiots.
He later emailed me and disclosed how hurt Chrissie's friends had been to learn of her deceit. I should think they'd be even more hurt at how fucking naive and trusting they all were with someone they'd never met. Now that would totally be embarrassing.
posted by Yours Truly at
3:27 PM
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