Confessions of an Ex-Chatroom Addict
Back in the day, I was addicted to chat rooms. I admit it. This was over 10 years ago, thank heavens. I was truly fascinated by the whole chat scene. I started a web site based on a particular chat room. The majority of the chatters were dysfunctional idiots. Was I a dysfunctional idiot? Well I certainly wasn't an idiot, but I think my dysfunction was my fascination.
When the web site started, it went viral. People flocked to it like drones, and I was the supreme ruler. I called myself "YT" which stood for "Yours Truly," and I was anonymous. To this day most of the chatters in that sad chat room have no clue who YT was. I made fun of everyone; no one was safe from YT's omnipresence and caustic comments. I took the stupid, moronic things people said and did in chat, and I made fun of it. Quite simple really. Their behavior was fodder for my creative juices.
I enlisted the help of a friend, and we gave the site a make-over with its own domain. It was absolutely insane. People lived for the next issue of the "newsletter." They loved seeing their name in virtual print, although it was not widely admitted. The hit counter kept track of how much traffic the site received, and even I never could have predicted how huge it became.
The site had Top Stories that highlighted a different nutter each week. People camped out in the chat room and copied each others' comments and emailed them to YT in hopes of 15 seconds of fame. YT's limelight was contagious. They stabbed each other in their virtual backs for that 15 seconds.
The site also had games that each visitor could occupy their time. One favorite game in particular was based on a woman chatter YT affectionately called "Ape," which was short for her real name - April. April was delusional. She mailed a pair of her panties to a male chatter she was obsessed with. Apparently, in her psychotic mind Ape thought it was sexy to wipe her snatch on the panties before she mailed them. Chances are the panties were 3 sizes smaller than her derriere any way, but let's not forget the poor victim i.e. the innocent receiver of her nasty panties. The game was patterned after one of those shell games. You know the kind - where a ball is hidden under one of three shells, and the player has to figure out which one after they're mixed up. A mail truck appeared on screen and three packages flew out of the truck. They showed Ape's stained panties then spun around and around before they came to a stop. The player had to guess which package had the panties. Once found, the player heard the cool "ewww" sound effect. Brilliant, right?
My favorite were "The Sticks." They were simple, animated stick figures who parodied chatters. For example, one chatter YT dubbed as "Icky Anna" took a snapshot of her fun bags. She gave her photo to certain male chatters. Of course it circulated through the room as the males shared the pic with other chatters. So with her chest widely known, her stick walked to the center of the screen and flashed it's own set of twins and a dialogue bubble appeared as the stick said, "See my tits." People campaigned for sticks of his or her own. They begged for one. Their behavior became out of control in hopes that it was crazy enough to be parodied in a "stick." It was utter chaos.
Many times I laughed myself sick over the occupants of the room and their behaviors. It was inspiration for any writer to let loose, and I was no exception. I went to work. Now please don't think I spent hours writing on this site. It took minutes, because the thing practically wrote itself. I just added comments that ridiculed and highlighted their lunacy. People called YT cruel and mean and "how could you make fun of me." Unreal. They couldn't see the forest for the trees.
I came to realize that I could wrestle with the pigs all I wanted, but the pigs liked it and I smelled like a sty. Another chatter wanted to buy the site; I refused. It was my baby. I let the site run its course, then I let it die a natural death at the height of its fame. The chatter started his own site, and it failed in an epic way. There was only one YT. They say imitation is the finest form of flattery, but not in this case. Their imitation was stupidity in all its glory, and I've already mentioned in a previous post how I feel about stupidity.
So yes world, I was a chat room addict and an even bigger chat room web site junkie. Sometimes I miss it, fool that I am, but the feeling is fleeting.
When the web site started, it went viral. People flocked to it like drones, and I was the supreme ruler. I called myself "YT" which stood for "Yours Truly," and I was anonymous. To this day most of the chatters in that sad chat room have no clue who YT was. I made fun of everyone; no one was safe from YT's omnipresence and caustic comments. I took the stupid, moronic things people said and did in chat, and I made fun of it. Quite simple really. Their behavior was fodder for my creative juices.
I enlisted the help of a friend, and we gave the site a make-over with its own domain. It was absolutely insane. People lived for the next issue of the "newsletter." They loved seeing their name in virtual print, although it was not widely admitted. The hit counter kept track of how much traffic the site received, and even I never could have predicted how huge it became.
The site had Top Stories that highlighted a different nutter each week. People camped out in the chat room and copied each others' comments and emailed them to YT in hopes of 15 seconds of fame. YT's limelight was contagious. They stabbed each other in their virtual backs for that 15 seconds.
The site also had games that each visitor could occupy their time. One favorite game in particular was based on a woman chatter YT affectionately called "Ape," which was short for her real name - April. April was delusional. She mailed a pair of her panties to a male chatter she was obsessed with. Apparently, in her psychotic mind Ape thought it was sexy to wipe her snatch on the panties before she mailed them. Chances are the panties were 3 sizes smaller than her derriere any way, but let's not forget the poor victim i.e. the innocent receiver of her nasty panties. The game was patterned after one of those shell games. You know the kind - where a ball is hidden under one of three shells, and the player has to figure out which one after they're mixed up. A mail truck appeared on screen and three packages flew out of the truck. They showed Ape's stained panties then spun around and around before they came to a stop. The player had to guess which package had the panties. Once found, the player heard the cool "ewww" sound effect. Brilliant, right?
My favorite were "The Sticks." They were simple, animated stick figures who parodied chatters. For example, one chatter YT dubbed as "Icky Anna" took a snapshot of her fun bags. She gave her photo to certain male chatters. Of course it circulated through the room as the males shared the pic with other chatters. So with her chest widely known, her stick walked to the center of the screen and flashed it's own set of twins and a dialogue bubble appeared as the stick said, "See my tits." People campaigned for sticks of his or her own. They begged for one. Their behavior became out of control in hopes that it was crazy enough to be parodied in a "stick." It was utter chaos.
Many times I laughed myself sick over the occupants of the room and their behaviors. It was inspiration for any writer to let loose, and I was no exception. I went to work. Now please don't think I spent hours writing on this site. It took minutes, because the thing practically wrote itself. I just added comments that ridiculed and highlighted their lunacy. People called YT cruel and mean and "how could you make fun of me." Unreal. They couldn't see the forest for the trees.
I came to realize that I could wrestle with the pigs all I wanted, but the pigs liked it and I smelled like a sty. Another chatter wanted to buy the site; I refused. It was my baby. I let the site run its course, then I let it die a natural death at the height of its fame. The chatter started his own site, and it failed in an epic way. There was only one YT. They say imitation is the finest form of flattery, but not in this case. Their imitation was stupidity in all its glory, and I've already mentioned in a previous post how I feel about stupidity.
So yes world, I was a chat room addict and an even bigger chat room web site junkie. Sometimes I miss it, fool that I am, but the feeling is fleeting.
posted by Yours Truly at
7:31 PM
2 Comments:
Dear YT,
Those were fun times. Nothing better than abusing stupid while it smears its chat room walls with its own feces, right? I still laugh at using my mic to tell the ape "Let go, April. It's a microphone, not a penis." Don't forget either about the dopey attempt at a lawsuit by AnneMarieVW (or WV?) and her ginormous ass, or the photos of piggy-in-a-kayak, your contributions to garden variety abuse such as the parody of Streetcar Named Desire with characters "Bald Blanche" and "Bitch," and the movie poster productions, such as "Harlot's Web."
Oh....almost forgot: I seem to remember being offered one of several swiped accounts belonging to Icky, and then bringing into the chat room while she was there, using the same font in her trademark bleached-anal pink. Ah...the good old days...what was his name (learner/something else) whom I accused of wearing star trek jammies and playing with his spock and captain kirk dolls; and the law student who claimed to have had a cleft palate who spawned our cover of Nancy Sinatra's Nees moots...too hard to remember all the moments of glory.
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